“Whatever you say I am not going to allow this”, mom was so stern about her decision.
“But he is a nice guy, you know that. You said you like him. Then what this fuss all about?” I was fighting back tears. This is the first time mom has stood against my relationship with him. She always had praises for him and being in her good books he would have surely gained some impression with dad too.
“Of course he is a nice guy. I like him. Hence I am concerned about him. You surely don’t want something to happen to him right?” There she had hit at the right point.
“Listen to me moley, this is not child’s play. You have chowa dosham* in your horoscope and he doesn’t have that. It’s a major mismatch. You can’t marry him.” She paused to give an effect to the horrible fact.
Yes, I have chowa dosham. In Kerala, or rather in whole India, being a Manglik*/ chowa dosham is a sin. It’s not something I brought by myself. It was there in my horoscope since the time I was born. Chowa dosham is the biggest fear any parents will have by the time their daughter or son reaches marriageable age. When Mars or chowa gets into an unfavorable position in one’s horoscope, they are called as Manglik. Their marital life will not be happy and even more badly, they may be widowed or separated very soon. Unless they find someone with same dosham, they have to remain single. And trust me, people still go for it.
And my parents being the paranoids had always been strict with horoscopes and astrology.
“But you never told me about this before” tears started rolling from my eyes.
“How will I know that you will fall in love? We thought you will marry the guy we choose, not love marriage” She replied instantly.
“You have heard about the bad effects of dosham. You tell him about this. He will surely back off. After all, who wants to risk their own life?” She continued mumbling.
I didn’t know what to do. My rational part wanted to break up with him lest something might go wrong. But I just couldn’t reach a conclusion. I decided to tell him and let him take a wise decision.
Whole day I spend browsing about chowa dosham. Every astrologer said the same thing. Your partner will either die or will divorce you if there is no compatibility in the horoscopes. I felt the whole world is conspiring against me.
He called around six in the evening. He was in a relaxed and cheerful mood.
“Listen, I want to tell something important. And you need to think over it and give me a reply” I started off in a serious tone. Guess that scared him.
“What’s this now? Don’t make me tensed. Tell me, what happened?” he was nervous.
“I have chowa dosham!” I said in one breath.
There was silence.
“So?” he asked perplexed.
“Don’t you know what that is? It means something bad can happen to you if we marry” I didn’t know what was running in his head.
“I know what chowa dosham is. And I have heard stories about that too. I am wondering what that has to do in our life.”
“You don’t understand, it means you will die if you marry me” God forbid. How did such a horrible thing come out of my mouth?
“So you want me to back off from marrying you? After all this years we have invested?” he asked in a serious tone.
I remained silent.
“Now answer me. Will you move away from this relationship if I have had this so called dosham?”
“No, never!” my response was immediate.
“See, you have given the answer to the question yourself” he said quietly.
“No more discussion on this topic babe. My answer is what you said. I am not going to back off from this, come what may! “
And that was his decision.
- Jane Doe
*chowa dosham/Manglik: an astrological combination that occurs if Mars is in the 1st, 4th, 7th, 8th, or 12th house of the Vedic astrology Ascendant chart. This condition is astrologically believed to be devastating for marriage, causing discomfort and tension in relationship, leading to severe disharmony among the spouses and eventually to other bigger problems. (Wikipedia)